Well you know what, I’m just gonna go for it and go on a date with the guy.
Why not?
No use being worried about things not working out- especially since he seems to have all of his ducks in a row, and matches my standards and stuff.
Haha, at least it’s not relationship suicide from the gate, like Samier was. Ooh boy, I knew better with that one.
This one at least, if it doesn’t go anywhere, I’m not wasting time on someone without potential.
But I’ve been a little terrified of relationships lately.
Before, when I was just taking that time after Ant to be single and lacked a desire for dating just in general- it was okay, because I wasn’t thinking about dating at all.
Now I’m kinda like… mer.
Well there was Samier, but from the second I found out he was Muslim I knew it wasn’t going to go anywhere.
I just started talking to someone who actually meets all my requirements so far, and that I’m attracted to… but it’s just a little scary getting back out there and looking towards the possibility of something that may actually have potential of turning into something.
I guess it’s the whole dating because you miss the intimacy, as opposed to dating with a plan.
I’m a little scared of the plan.
There’s been a whole lot of rejection after Ant. Not necessarily people being like ‘biotch no’, but just a bunch of wrong turns on my part. Screwing over Mus, Screwing over Joe, getting Screwed over by Samier, getting rejected by Ant. It’s just been a lot of man negativity.
There hasn’t really been a giant yes!
This one may be a possibility, but I facebook creeped a bit, and it looks like he recently got out of something. Even if it’s short, I’m still paranoid about it. I’ve been talking to a lot of people who are just ‘out of something’, and I did a lot of talking when I was just ‘out of something’. I’ve just learned that generally people aren’t ever over things that fast.
So I’m a little paranoid.
Idk. I’m alright not dating, but I’m kinda sad that I’ve been developing a little bit of an anxiety towards it in general when I do put myself out there.
I always ditch school with Ange and get coffee and window shop.
Now I am writing an essay.
It’s taking forever… and also probably entirely too long.
You know when you look at something in your peripheral, and it just freaks you the heck out.
Well that is what is happening to me right now.
I am trying to write my Critical Thinking essay, and right outside my window, just above the computer screen on a shelf is a giant bbq coal bag. But over the computer in my peripheral vision, it looks like a deformed person’s head just watching me all menacingly.
So yes, It is creeping me out.
Even though I know what it is and why it’s there, I am still scared of it every time I look up accidentally.
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